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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29956167">Stay, just a little longer [English]</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RikOkami/pseuds/RikOkami'>RikOkami</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Angst in Etheria [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love, One Shot, Self-Harm, Trauma, catra just need to be hugged honestly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 01:22:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29956167</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RikOkami/pseuds/RikOkami</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>!TW Self-Harm!</p><p>Catra spend too many times alone by herself and nothing good results.<br/>She is drowning, deep, deep into the darkness.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adora/Catra (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Angst in Etheria [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2284169</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>50</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Stay, just a little longer [English]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First i didn't plan to adapt in English one of the fic i wrote in French, but.. here i am.<br/>Maybe i'll adapt others, maybe not. We'll see in the future haha</p><p>Enjoy this lil angsty story<br/>(and yes, i just love angst,,, sorry not sorry)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Deep, deep inside the bed, a small being who seemed so fragile and so broken was curled up on herself, her ears glued to her head. Catra pressed her legs tightly against her chest, she just wanted to form a ball, fused with the bed, disappear. She closed her eyes, grimacing, all these flashes, thoughts, actions... Even if her beloved one, Adora, said she was not the same, she was changing, that <em> she changed </em>, the cat couldn’t believe it, and it was very hard to not keep blaming herself for everything. </p><p> </p><p>Her eyes still closed, her body trembling, Catra couldn’t stop thinking about everything she had done to Adora, Glimmer, Bow… She clenched her teeths and opened her eyes, punching the pillow with all her strength –if she had been able, she would have struck this punch to herself, her claws being out, the pillow was sliced and the feathers flew all over the room, some falling on her left arm which she watched conscientiously. Seeing those fresh wounds on her wrist made her winced. Some were very recent. </p><p> </p><p>Every day, Catra was more and more drowning deep in the regret, hating herself, her old demons were chasing her. Even if she was trying to, she couldn’t understand why Adora had forgiven her, how she could give her all this.. love. Everyone, <em> every single one </em> was like that with her. They were kind, wholesome, helping her.. Why couldn’t they just hate her, reject her, abandon her.. </p><p> </p><p>“No..” she whispered to herself at this thought, she could feel the tears coming up. She didn’t want to be abandoned by Adora, not again. </p><p> </p><p>The cat turned herself to grab the pillow that wasn’t damaged, her best friend’s –beloved’s… ? pillow. She pressed it against her, smelling the blond’s odor, which made her close her eyes again, not to get into her thoughts this time, but to focus on the smell, which honestly, was calming her. She let a sigh, she didn’t know she was holding, escape from her damaged and chapped lips. </p><p> </p><p>Adora.. her best friend, <em> the one she loved more than everything </em>. </p><p> </p><p>This smell reminded her what happened in the Heart of Etheria, when she had confessed her feelings that she had taken so much care and time to hide. When she held her in her arms, trying to tell her how much she needed her, that she didn’t want her to go, not yet. That moment when she caught her sweet gaze, filled with love when she finally said these three words : <em> I love you. </em>This moment, when, she hesitated for a second before taking all her courage to kiss her. </p><p> </p><p>Since then, they had not really talked about it. They were once again close, partners, <em> friends </em>. Catra’s tail did not hold in place, chasing the air with quick and restless movements. </p><p> </p><p>“Catra ?” a voice she knew by heart, which she will never be tired of, <em> her voice </em>, had taken her out of her thoughts, making her open her eyes again and raising an attentive ear. </p><p> </p><p>“- Hmm ?” answered the cat as the sound of footsteps approached the bed, approached her, who was still curled up on herself, certainly pitiful to look at. </p><p> </p><p>“- You…” Adora started, hesitating, placing a hand on her lover’s shoulder, seeking her attention. “You want company ?”</p><p> </p><p>Catra let out an inaudible sigh and turned to face the blond. Her face didn’t hide the pain nor the distress. Her mismatched eyes were lost in those beautiful blue eyes. </p><p> </p><p>“Honestly.. I don’t know.” she muttered, biting her lips. </p><p> </p><p>The tall blond didn’t say a word. She didn’t know if she should talk, if her friend needed her to. She felt that her presence seemed to calm her, perhaps a little. At least, she hoped. Those past days she noticed that Catra had this habit to isolate herself a lot, staying in their room day and night. She knew that she was sinking, that she was not at peace with her thoughts.. but Adora was lost. She didn’t know if she was supposed to talk to her, to leave her alone or to be physically next to her. The brunette just kept pushing her away when she tried. </p><p> </p><p>“I guess you know it already, but, if you need anything, to talk, a friend, i’ll be there for you.” </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Friend.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>That was one of those words she did not want to associate with Adora. Were they not supposed to be more than that, more than just “<em> friends </em>” ? </p><p> </p><p>“Adora, I…” started Catra, lowering her ears. </p><p> </p><p>The blond put a finger on her lips, cutting her sentence. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t feel like doing it. I can just stay here if you need me.” </p><p> </p><p>Adora looked down, suddenly feeling something pulling on her arm. It was obviously Catra who was tightening the hold on her wrist, like to approve her words, telling her to stay without having to say it. Her eyes, maybe too curious, looked at the more or less recent scars all over the skin of the cat’s wrist. She frowned with a sad look and carefully took her wrist in a loving and protective gesture, her thumb kindly touched the scars. They stayed like this for a moment, without a word. </p><p> </p><p>“Catra..” said Adora in a soft tone, breaking that heavy silence, without letting go of her wrist. “There is something.. that I would like to talk to you.”</p><p> </p><p>At these words, Catra sat to face her friend. She didn’t look her in the eyes but she was listening. </p><p> </p><p>“What you said, back in the Heart…” she continued, taking a deep breath as if she was prepared to say something difficult, something she had been holding back for a long time. “I’m sorry that I never talked to you about it again… I don’t want you to think I didn’t mean what I said, you know…” These breaks during each sentence made Catra’s heart squeeze harder and harder, she was afraid. “I…” Adora took one last deep breath, looking away, her cheeks slightly pink. “I love you.. I really do love you.”</p><p> </p><p>The brunette’s ears rose slowly on her heads, completely attentive, as her eyes drowned in those eyes of the person she always cared the most, who had always been so precious to her. With a hesitant gesture, she placed her hand on her beloved’s cheek, softly caressing it with her thumb. </p><p> </p><p><em> If only you knew how much I love you. How much I want you and I always have. You were always the reason I could keep going, to not give up because of Shadow Weaver, because of that fucking pressure, that fucking pain, all those attempts to control me… to keep me away from you.. I love you Adora. I fucking love you ! </em>This answered crossed her mind, but she didn’t say anything about it, instead she said : </p><p> </p><p>“But.. why..? After all I’ve done, after all I’ve done to you !” That’s why Catra barely said anything until then, because she knew her voice would be broken like that, reflecting all the pain and hatred she felt. “I do it myself. I hate myself, and believe me it’s easier this way.” Her claws were scratching her neck with insistence, where there was this fucking chip that had left her a huge scar. </p><p> </p><p>At this answer she felt wet and warm lips pecking her forehead, then her temple, the blond’s hand intertwining hers. </p><p> </p><p>“I could never hate you, and believe me, it’ll never be easier for me.” With a gentle gesture, Adora lifted up her girlfriend’s head so that their eyes would meet again. “I love from the depth of my heart. I understand that you blame yourself, and that’s normal after.. everything you did. But it proves that you’re changing, and, that you want to improve yourself.” </p><p> </p><p>“What if I can’t change, if i’m not good enough for you, for everyone, for-”</p><p> </p><p>“Shhhh. You already proved that enough that you’re not the person you pretended to be during these past years. You saved Glimmer, you saved <em> me </em>, risking your life.” </p><p> </p><p>This memory was still very painful for the blond one for whom tears started to form in the corner of her eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. She remembered how Catra’s voice was broken while she was apologizing for everything, the call that was brutally cutt off. And that fear.. the fear of losing her. Forever. </p><p>The cat’s tail wrapped around the blond’s arm, which took her out of her terrible thoughts. Catra hated to see her cry, to see her suffer, even if she had been, without a doubt, one of the greatest reasons for Adora's torments. </p><p> </p><p>“Adora, I’m here.” she muttered, moving her forehead against her lover’s one, softly smiling at her. “I… I promise I won’t leave.” </p><p>“- So, why..” she answered with a broken voice,gently taking her wrist again in her hand. </p><p>“- Cause, I..” she bit her lips, looking away, ashamed. “I deserve it, kinda..” <em> I deserve to die </em> she wanted to add, but she didn’t. </p><p>“No,” said Adora, in a harsh tone, softly squeezing the wrist, making the cat’s eyebrows furrowed painfully. “You deserve everything but absolutely not that. You deserve all the love of the world, you deserve all my love, you deserve me, Catra.” </p><p> </p><p><em> I.. deserve her ? </em>she repeated to herself. No, impossible. Adora deserved everything, and always has. Catra was always the one who was rejected, belittled. She understands now that she was too much. </p><p> </p><p>“Catra.” Two hands on her shoulders pulled her out of her thoughts, almost making her jump in fear. “Look at me..” The brunette let her bright eyes get lost in Adora’s. “I’m sorry I was never able to fully protect you from Shadow Weaver, from the Horde, it was m-” she was cut off. </p><p>“- It was not your fault, it never was. You always know how to cheer me up, to keep me going, the problem..” She bit her bottom lips. “The problem was me..”</p><p> </p><p>The blond tightened her grip on her shoulders, placing her forehead against Catra’s one, without looking away for a single moment. She saw it. Adora could see that Catra was on the verge of tears. She gently slid her arm around her beloved’s neck and held her closer to her, cuddling her tenderly. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s going to be okay.” whispered Adora in her ear, closing her eyes while the cat opened hers in shock. “You can cry if you want to, I’m here, and i’ll stay.” She kissed the corner of her lips. “I’ll be there if you need me. I will never abandon you.” </p><p> </p><p>Catra didn’t say anything, carefully listening to what her girlfriend was saying. It was so good to hear. So relieving. She finally let herself cry, letting those tears, she held for so long, rolling down the fur of her cheeks. </p><p> </p><p>Her lover felt Catra’s shoulders rose irregularly. She was crying. She pressed a little harder the cat against her, gently caressing her back to let her know that she was here, that it was okay, that she can cry, that she can let out her emotions. She felt weak arms gripping her red jacket, determined to not let her go -not that she wanted to. </p><p> </p><p>[...] Adora did not know since how long they had been like this, since how long she was embracing her. But she knew that Catra had calmed down because of her breathing which was calm and not heavy anymore. </p><p> </p><p>The brunette did not want to move. She had indeed calmed down and she found Adora’s warmth relaxing, her hug reassuring. She let out a sigh of ease, while she closed her eyes. For the first time, she felt safe, not obliged to be or to act strong. Adora probably did not realize it, but that was all she needed : knowing that she can cry, she can be weak and hurt. For the first time, she was not ashamed of being this fragile. </p><p> </p><p>“Adora,” she said in a rested voice as she purrs, without realizing it. “I love you too, <em> princess </em>. More than you can imagine.” Her tail was happily waggling behind her. </p><p> </p><p>Adora smiled softly at her, moving herself just enough to look Catra in the eyes, a few seconds before closing them again, reaching her lips. This kiss translated all the love she had for her. </p>
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